Will you clean my house naked?

Last Friday I was working and a semi regular came in and he was talking to me and he said something about his son, who he has custody of, being gone every other weekend.

Then he started talking to me about how he used to pay some chick to come to his house and clean it naked while he masurbated...umm eww!! Then he asked me if I would do it....he said I'll give you $100 for just a couple hours....

Now, I don't even like cleaning my house, why would I clean someone elses, naked or clothed??

Well, that's about all that happened recently...I work Tomorrow...so hopefully something good will happen then...

Been a slow couple weeks!

It's been a slow couple weeks at work....I haven't really had anything interesting happen.

I opened last Tuesday, which I don't normally do, and as soon as I turned the open sign a customer came in...I seriously wonder how long he was waiting in the parking lot. And really who sits there and waits? Don't these people have jobs? I mean we open at 10am, seriously

Now, while I didn't want to work last night and it wasn't the busiest night I've had, I did make quite a bit of money. So that was nice....

I don't have anything else to blog about right now....since nothing good happened at work....so I'll be back later!!!

What the FUCK!?!?!?!?!?!

I have blogged about my friend Ken, he is the man who dresses as a woman.

Well, he came by my work Friday night...as he usually does, and there was another man in the store who was buying movies. Well, he started to come up to the counter for me to get him his movies, and he wouldn't stand to close to Ken, and when Ken walked away he said "I didn't want to get too close" Are you serious???

I mean, in the day and age that we live in, you'd think that most people would understand that not everyone is the same and that it doesn't matter how another person chooses to live their life, they are still a person...and it isn't contagious!!!!!

The other WTF!! Moment of my night Friday night was when two young girls came in and one of them was carrying a pumpkin seat!!! Yeah a baby!! In an adult store!! I told the one girl, carrying the seat, "the baby can't be in here" she said, "are you serious? He's only 3 weeks old" Um, yeah I was serious...there is a sing on the door....a HUGE sign that says No children of ANY AGE.....I don't get why people think that would be ok and I also don't see why anyone would want to bring a baby into an adult store to begin with.

I swear the stupidity of people amazes me!!! Some people should not be able to reproduce!!!!!

Really???

So, I worked last night, obviously and this guy came in around 9pm and tried to return a movie, and then left, I went to scan the movie to check it back in and it was a movie from Family Video....not our store.

I run outside to tell him that it was a family video movie and he says "I'm so fucking High!! Too much Koosh (SP?)" I was like ok and he left...I found out Koosh is apparently Hydroponic Pot, very strong and  long lasting....I didn't know that...

But really??? Why would you tell a stranger that shit?? I mean come on...I could have been a cop for all he knew....I wasn't but still....this is the same thing as people telling me shit they wouldn't normally share with another person because they think that they are invisible...


You guys have heard about the customer that we have come on who is a man dressing as a woman, well, I have become friends with her, she is very nice and I like her very much. My husband on the other hand, doesn't like it very much. He thinks that she has a thing for me....I don't think so, I think that she is nice to me because I don't judge her, I have no reason to, but I don't think that she gets treated normally very often and it's a big deal that I do. She even remembered my birthday and brought me a card.


Nothing else really going on as of right now....but, I work again tonight, so I'm sure there will be more!!!

Wednesday May 4th, 2011- Toy Reviews!!!

So, today is my anniversary, so instead of what happens at work, which usually isn't much on Wednesdays since most of the customers are regulars and just come in to rent, I am going to review some of the things we have in the store....as in I will make fun of them.
Here we go...

This is the tranny toy I talked about before. It says on the box somewhere that you can 'sit' on the penis part and titty fuck it and also get a blowjob....umm really....humans aren't put together that way...so that right there is just creating unrealistic expectations in my opinion....I mean, what if I a guy I were dating, which wouldn't happen BTW, wanted something like that from me...aside from the fact that I don't have a penis, my mouth also isn't connected to my boobs....oh and guess how much this thing costs??? Any guesses, here's the price

Yup, $300.00 for that you could get a whole human being....if you're into the whole deformed thing, this is the toy for you.

A 20lbs ass and pussy???

All I can say about this one is Umm, ok??? First of all it's HUGE, like life-size I would assume....also, it's WAAAAYYYYYY TOO expensive in my opinion....here's the price.

Yup, $500.00 for this special toy. Now, the thing that amazes me more about this toy is that someone actually bought the first one we had in the store. The guy who bought it comes in every couple of weeks and buys either lube, or one of the 'pocket pussies' which I will talk about a little later in this entry. So, you know what he's doing.

Here's another one

I added all of these at the same time because they are essentially the same thing. Here's what's messed up, I know they are sold as gag gifts, but really, someone who's into that kind of thing could buy one and well, use it....now, aside from the fact that beastiallity is illegal, it's also really gross, I mean think about it for a minute, do you agree?

I actually think this one is kinda cool!!

Ok, I would totally buy this for my husband because I think it's great!!!! She has a cup holder in her head....how awesome is that???

This is funny!!!

Basically, you can fill it with a 6pack of beer (just the liquid, not the cans) and no one will even know it's not real, that way you get out of paying for ball park beers, which are very expensive.

Here's the female's version

Apparently this one holds whatever you want to drink and also makes your boobs look bigger in the process...can we say false advertising? Some guy will take her home and take off her 'wine rack' and she'll have much smaller boobs....just saying! Also, don't you love how sad she looks in the first pic and how happy she looks in the second one?

What about this one?

It's pretty, but I don't think I'd buy it for it's intended use, you know, sex!!!! I mean it's really pretty, so more like a sculpture that I would put on my table or something....no way in hell would I be putting that in my vagina!!! What about you?

This looks like a toy!

This looks like a toy, like a childs toy, no way would I be using that to achieve sexual gratification....I wouldn't be able to get over the fact that it reminds me of a toy one of my kids might play with. You?

Every Single Lesbians Best Friend?

I don't know, but everytime I see it makes me giggle! I don't think it would work the way it's supposed to though, I mean all I can think is it wouldn't move fast enough, or slow enough, and it also wouldn't feel real, which would suck....so I wouldn't even use it at all.

Wow, technology has come so far!

Now you can get off to your favorite song.....and hey if it's on your ipod, you can even get off to the ABC's....how about that???

Recharcheable??

Ok, first of all, it's HUGE!!!! And massager my ass, more like super duper vibrator....just think about all the possibilities...and rechargeable, really, is someone going to use it that much?

Wow, just wow!!

Now, my husband thought I was sexy when I was pregnant, however I am his wife and I was carrying his baby, how would this even work??? I mean, I know some guys like pregnant chicks because you can't knock them up again, but this is a doll, you're not getting it pregnant anyway...and check out that hair....I am pretty sure this was made in the 80's or early 90's

Like squirters?

Then here you go!!!! It even has life like fingers there!!!!! Holy cow, I am not even sure what to say about this one....just wow!!



This is small...so how does this work?

This thing is so small I could hold it in one hand....and I did...so here's the thing, the hole in the bottom is small, even smaller than a fingertip...so how does that even work? Here is a side view of it.

Wow, that's one big vagina.

Umm, I don't think it's supposed to be that big and open....seriously...I am also sure most chicks fon't like being tied up...also what's with the weird things sticking out on the sides? My body doesn't look like that!

That doesn't look natural.

No matter what the package says, it doesn't look natural...I've never met a guy who had a second penis growing out of his balls....now I know what this is for, obviously...but really? Why?

Aww, how sweet!

Umm, what's up with the pig nose?? And the abnormally small mouth? I've never me anyone who mouth looks like that.

Who's idea was it to paint it hot pink?

If you're vagina is that color.....please, please, please, go see your doctor, because that is not normal. Also, I've never seen or heard of a vagina that is shaped like that, so again, see someone if this resembles your own vagina. Also, on the back it says hand painted...so they pay someone to hand paint these things? I would love that job, however I wouldn't pick hot pink for it....


GROSS!!!!

It's all twisted and smushed and FLOPPY!!!!! Do you like floppy pussies....I don't know anyone who does. From what I've heard, they prefer them to be tight.

Strap ons?

Wow...I'm not even sure what to think about this!!! For a dude...um ok.....just makes me think he's a little gay even though I know that even straight guys like anal stimulation....but still.

Really?

Let's think about this, if you have to put the person you are having sex with in a straight jacket then there is something very, very wrong with your relationship....VERY, VERY wrong.

I WANT IT!!!

And only because it's pink...yup, I only want it because pink is my favorite color!!!!!!

Again PINK!!!!

I swear to you, this really makes no sense to me because I mean think about it, you couldn't really be all that comfortable for any amount of time for it to actually complete 'the job' if you catch my drift

TOTALLY NOT WORTH IT!

I know you can see the prices on some of these...I mean really? There is no penis, real or otherwise, that I would pay that much money for.


For the seeing impaired

Apparently, you need a glow in the dark pussy, so you can see what you're doing and also you get that cool alien like feeling, while you're at it. And who the hell calls thier vagina a 'love tunnel'??? Really, that's as bad as when you are reading a romance novel and they refer to it as a flower, or something equally as ridiculous.

I thought the name and pic on the box were funny.

Ok, now I know what it's for, but do you really need weighted anal beads? Like the normal ones aren't good enough. Also, the look on he chicks face is great...she looks a little freaked out and also really, really high.

That look's fu$ked up!!!

Ok, now think about it, does yours look like that? Mine doesn't, that doesn't strike me as a normal looking vagina. Also, I keep seeing shit like what that one says, 'better than real "real skin" pussy' umm, I'm pretty sure that a real one would be better than that.

ATM

I don't know if I could have sex with something that looks like a really fucked up worm? I mean it....have you ever seen beetlejuice? The one with Wynonna Ryder? That looks like the worms that were in the sand whenever the ghosts tried to leave the house. Only this one doesn't have teeth.

HOLY HELL THAT'S LOOSE!!!

Umm, that hole is so big you could shove a whole fist into it. I hope to go no one ever buys one of these while I'm working, because I would have to open it and put in batteries...I would be afraid to touch it, it looks like it could swallow my hand.

Well, that is all that I have for tonight. I will hopefully have more to post after I get off work tomorrow night, we will see..

Tuesday May 3rd, 2011

Yesterday one of the very first customers I had was a guy, who I'm guessing has never been in a place like this. He seemed very nervous and confused and then finally he asked me for help...he couldn't pick something out him self so I helped him. He eventually picked something called 'The Matador' which is a vibrating cock ring, the part that touches the clit looks like a bull...hence the name, here is a pic of it...looks interesting to me, lol..　

　
　
Here is a really crappy picture of a customer who came in tonight...I wish I could have gotten a better pic, because she was dressed like a hooker and I am almost 100% postive she was high on something. I mean people don't normally behave that way, you know? She said she works at this topless club that's close to here, it's funny though because they have to wear bandaids on their nipples...so I'm not sure how topless that really is. That's why she was here, she was buying clothes, however in my opinion she really should have been buying clothes somewhere else....her butt cheeks were hanging out...I almost puked....seriously!!!!
**I REMOVED THE PICTURE I HAD POSTED BECAUSE SOMEONE CALLED MY COWORKERS AND TOLD THEM ABOUT THE PIC. EVEN THOUGH IT ISN'T ILLEGAL BECAUSE IT WAS JUST HER BACKSIDE, I DON'T WANT ANY TROUBLES.**

Apparently boots are sexy.

Sorry I haven't posted in awhile. Been a little busy lately.

Yesterday I wore my boots to work...I love boots, so since it was raining and my favorite shoes are falling apart I wore some boots.

Well, I was putting the movies back on the shelf and a customer was walking behind me and he made a sound....between a moan and a groan. I turned around to see what was wrong and he said....sexy boots...after that I took them off and walked around in my socks for the rest of the night...it was gross!!!!

Here's the boots I wore.

Friday April 15, 2011

If you've ever been in an 'adult store' you know that some of them have 'viewing rooms', where you can watch the movies that they carry, which is gross in my opinion. The one I work in does NOT have any, which is a god send, because according to R, if a store has one, it has to be in the front of the store, with the door off...so much for privacy while you are masturbating. Also, who the hell wants to watch someone else yank it? I mean really?

Anyhow, part of my job is answering the phone, of course. So, I answered the phone it was a very young sounding guy asking me how old you have to be to get in to the store, which is 18. And then after I answered he asked about viewing rooms!!! I said no....but inside I was screaming EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!! How nasty??

I also had an older couple come in (50's) and they were looking at all the things we carry and they saw the ben wa balls that we carry. And the lady asked her husband what they were, and I could hear this conversation and he said 'I don't know, ask her', she laughed, blushed and said  'no, you ask her.' So, they asked, and I was trying so hard not to laugh, because honestly, I felt like I was explaining to my grandparents what Ben Wa balls were...if you don't know, here's the explanation I gave them

They are balls that are weighted, you can use them to strenghthen your PC muscles. You stick one inside your vagina, not all the way in there, but just inside and tighten your muscles to hold it in. After you can hold one in for no problem what so ever, then you move on two the second one.

We also got a brand new novelty in...now we have some strange stuff already, like Obama dildos, it's nasty, I will add pics of this one Tuesday after I get off work. But the newest novelty we have is a penis, breasts and a mouth....it's supposed to be a transgender novelty. But the way it's put together is so strange looking. Just the creepiest thing I have ever seen. And I have seen some creepy stuff while working there.

Like the man who comes in dressed as a woman...he wears a wig and the last time he/she was in, he/she was wearing a pink skirt. He/she made the comment that he/she still had a penis....ummm Ok? I was 100% postive that, if you weren't still anatomically a man, that you were at one time or another. I didn't need confirmation, really I didn't.

Then, there was the man, who looked like a staunchly conservative man. Like, suit and tie and everything. Who asked about a certain kind of movie, I told him yes we did and where he could find them. Then, while I was ringing him up he made some comment about being nervous...I said 'don't be nervous, everyone has sex' He then proceeded to tell me that he was having a threesome that night....umm ok? See that's what I mean about people thinking I can see them or something...now 9 times out of 10, if you pay with something other than cash, not only do I see you, but I also know your full name...so I wish you didn't think you were invisible, because you're not.

Well, that's about all I have for now. But I do have an idea, you can email me any questions that you might have, and I will make a post where I answer any questions you guys ask me...no holds barred, all questions. Now, I won't do it this week, but next week I will, so start sending in your questions. I will post the questions and answers on Sundays, starting next week. So, get started and email your questions to me at nickholegramley AT gmail DOT com.....hope to hear from you soon.

Just an intro to who I am.

This is the first time I have ever blogged, so you'll have to bear with me for a bit while I get the hang of things.

I also want to put a disclaimer here, if you are offended by sexual things, or anything having to do with sex, or swear words, this blg isn't for you.

I am writing this blog on things that happen to me and the people I see and the things I hear while at work. This wouldn't normally be a big deal, but I work in an 'adult store'. We rent, and sell movies and we also sell novelties and we have a small selection of lingerie, we also carry a very small selection of bongs, one hitters and stuff like that...which seems strange to me, but I'm not the owner.

I have two co-workers, R is 73 and she is awesome, she's been working there since the store opened 20yrs ago...and P who is 63, now the ages of these ladies is enough to be hilarious, but the way they talk is amazing to me...not the way you would think older ladies would talk.

I am 24yrs old, almost 25 and I have been married for almost 4yrs. We have two children, both boys, they are almost 4 and almost 2. I have been working at my job for about 6 months and it is the best job I have ever had.

This job is pretty awesome because I meet some of the weirdest people....but also some of the nicest people.

I am guessing that the people who come in to my job think that I don't see their faces or something because they tell me things that you normally wouldn't share with a stranger...which is beyond me.

I will try to post everytime that I work, but sometimes it's way too slow and nothing happens....so I hope you enjoy my blog.